What to Talk About on a Therapy Consultation Call

If you’ve ever scheduled a free consultation call with a new therapist and then immediately thought, “Wait… what am I supposed to say?” ...you're not the only one!

Confession: I recently went through the process of finding a new therapist myself, and I was genuinely surprised by how uncomfortable these calls can feel from the client side. As a therapist, I intellectually knew they could be awkward. As a human on the other end of the phone? Whew. Different experience.

Consult calls often happen when people are already feeling vulnerable. Maybe you’re burned out, maybe a relationship just ended, maybe you’ve made a New Year’s resolution that this is finally the year you try therapy.

You've scoured Psychology Today, made arbitrary-feeling decisions about who to reach out to, then suddenly you’re dropped into a 15-minute conversation with a stranger and asked, “So… what brings you here?”

Let’s make this easier.

This post will walk you through what to talk about on a therapy consultation call, how to structure it so you don’t spiral, and how to tell whether someone might actually be a good fit for you.

First, a Quick Reframe: Therapy consultation Calls Are Weird for Everyone

Ideally, the therapist would offer clear structure and guide the consultation call. In reality? Many therapists feel awkward on these calls too. They’re not quite therapy, not quite a casual chat, and there’s pressure on both sides.

So if your consult feels a little clunky, that doesn’t automatically mean anything is “wrong.” The goal isn’t perfection, so let's keep the focus on information and fit.

Start With Logistics (Boring, I know)

This is the part people often skip and regret later.

Starting with logistics helps you weed out therapists who won’t actually work for your life before you get emotionally invested. Think of this as being intentional with your time.

Here are the key logistics to cover early in your therapy consultation call:

1. Location & Licensing

• Do they offer sessions in-person, virtually, or both?

• If you want virtual sessions, make sure they’re licensed in the state you’ll physically be in during sessions (this matters more than people realize, especially in Kansas City!).

  
  

2. Schedule & Availability

• What days and times do they typically see clients?

• Do they currently have openings that actually work with your schedule?
  

3. Payment & Fees

• Do they take your insurance? Are they in-network with your specific plan?*

• If you're private pay (meaning paying out of pocket and not using your insurance), what is their session rate, and does it fit your budget?

• Do they offer sliding scale spots, or know of colleagues who do?
  

*A quick note on superbills

If a therapist is out-of-network, you can ask whether they provide superbills (a receipt you submit to insurance for possible reimbursement). Reimbursement varies widely by plan, so you'll need to check with your insurance plan to see if it offers out-of-network reimbursement, but it’s worth asking.

Why start here? Because if the logistics don’t work, it doesn’t matter how amazing they seem, therapy with them won’t be sustainable.

Then: Share the Headlines (Not the full memoir)

Once logistics are settled, you can briefly share why you’re seeking therapy.

Keyword: brief. You don’t need to explain everything. Think headlines, not chapters.

You might say:

• “I’m hoping to work on my relationship with food and my body.”

• “I keep ending up in the same unhealthy relationship patterns.”

• “On paper my life looks good, but I feel like unresolved trauma might be keeping me feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.”

• "I'm so burned out at work that I'm seriously considering quitting."
  

Aim for your top 2–3 things you want help with. Then ask: “What’s your experience working with these concerns?” This will tell you far more than a generic bio ever could.

A Quick (Important) Legal Reality Check

Confidentiality technically does not apply during consultation calls because you are not an official client yet. Most therapists treat these conversations with care and respect, but it’s still wise to avoid sharing anything you’d feel unsafe having overheard or documented. Another reason to keep things high-level.

“Do You Have Any Questions for Me?” (Yes. You Do.)

Most therapists will ask this question at some point during the call. Don’t panic! Come prepared.

You might ask about:

• Their background and training

• Their specialties or areas of focus

• Types of therapy they use (and how that looks in practice)

• Their therapeutic style (more directive? more reflective?)

• Cancellation or rescheduling policies

  
  

There are no gold-star questions here. Ask what you want to know. What information is going to make you feel confident in making this decision?

Red Flags to Pay Attention To 🚩

A few things that may signal this isn’t the right fit:

• They’re late to the call, especially without acknowledging it. (If they’re late now, it's likely they'll be late for your sessions too.)

• They seem very unsure or unable to guide the conversation. A little awkwardness is human. A lack of confidence or clarity is different.

• They minimize your concerns or jump too quickly into fixing.

• They react defensively when you ask reasonable questions.
  

Trust what your body is telling you. Research shows that a positive relationship with your therapist is the top predictor of success in therapy, so it's important to find the right fit for you.

Signs You’ve Found the Right Therapist ✅

But let's not forget the green flags! They may feel subtle but powerful:

• The conversation feels easy or natural

• You feel understood...maybe even relieved

• They seem genuinely engaged or interested in your concerns

• Time flies, or you wish you had more of it

• You leave the call feeling hopeful and clear about next steps

You're looking for that sense of “Oh…I can do this."

Do More Than One Consultation (i knowww)

I know it's a pain, but I strongly encourage people to do at least three consultation calls before deciding. It can be hard to decide whether or not someone is a good fit when you have nothing to compare it to.

If you’ve done three and none feel right, you can absolutely reach back out and ask for referrals. Here’s a simple script you can use:

Hi [Name], Thank you again for taking the time to speak with me. I’ve realized I may need a slightly different fit, and I was wondering if you have any referral suggestions for therapists who might be a good match for what I’m looking for. [Incorporate one or two specifics about what you're looking for.] I really appreciate your help.

Good therapists expect this, and many are happy to help. They also tend to have larger networks of therapists to tap into.

Ready to Give it a Try?

Starting therapy can feel daunting, especially when you’re high-functioning, thoughtful, and used to figuring things out on your own. Consultation calls are not a test, they’re a tool to help you choose support that actually fits your life.

If you’re local to Kansas City (or in Kansas for virtual sessions), I offer consultation calls where you don’t have to guess what to say. We’ll figure it out together. You don’t have to do this part alone either.