Your Guide to Intuitive Eating During the Holidays

The holidays can be magical…and also a lot. If you have a complicated relationship with food, your body, and/or certain family members (hi, Aunt Carol with the unsolicited Food Police comments), the season of “joy and togetherness” can feel more like walking into an emotional obstacle course you never signed up for.

This post is all about helping you navigate intuitive eating during the holidays with less stress, more grounding, and a whole lot more compassion for yourself. If you’re healing from years of dieting, perfectionism, or family patterns that deserve their own reality show, you’re in the right place. Let's unpack...

• Why the Holidays Can Feel So Triggering

• How to Approach Intuitive Eating During the Holidays Without Going Into Full on Fight-or-Flight

• When Family Members Comment on Your Body (Because Of Course They Do)

• Handling Holiday Food Guilt

• When Food Isn’t the Hard Part…Family Is

• Making the Holidays Your Own

• What to Do If You Need More Support

Why the Holidays Can Feel So Triggering

Even if you’ve been practicing Intuitive Eating, honoring your hunger cues, and curating an FYP full of anti-diet creators, the holidays can bring up old stuff fast.

Here’s why:

• Diet culture loves the holidays. It comes in with a side of “earn your holiday meal” messaging and a sprinkle of “I’m being so bad right now” commentary.

• Family dynamics intensify. Roles from childhood get reactivated. Boundaries get fuzzy. Someone always assigns you the emotional labor.

• There’s a lot of food you associate with memories (both good and not-so-good).

• Your body might be changing (or not changing), and people feel shockingly entitled to comment on it.

This season can be tender when you're unlearning years of diet rules and working toward actual self-trust.

How to Approach Intuitive Eating during the Holidays Without Going Into Full on fight-or-Flight

Here are some supportive, grounded strategies to help you get through the season with more ease and less white-knuckling:

1. Give Yourself Full Permission to Eat

   Reassure your brain (and your body) that all foods are allowed. Restriction (mental or physical) is one of the biggest triggers for bingeing, obsessive thoughts, and panic around holiday meals. Unconditional permission creates safety. Safety creates calm. Calm creates choice.

2. Plan Nourishment Before You Walk Into the Event

   Skipping meals to “save up” leads to intense hunger, emotional reactivity, and feeling out of control around food. Eat consistently throughout the day so you arrive grounded and present. Your nervous system thanks you in advance.

3. Practice Internal Boundaries

   Sometimes the most powerful boundary is the one inside your own head:

   “I don’t have to justify my food choices.”

   “My worth is not attached to what I eat.”

   “Their relationship with food is not my responsibility.”

Internal boundaries help you stay rooted even when external ones feel hard.

When Family Members Comment on Your Body (Because Of Course They Do)

If you grew up around constant comments about your weight, appearance, or diet, family gatherings can feel like a return to the scene of the crime.

Here are some ready-to-use responses:

• “I’m focusing on feeling good in my body, not changing it.”

• “I don’t talk about diets anymore.”

• “My body is not up for discussion” or (my personal favorite) "My body shape/size is the least interesting thing about me."

• “Let’s talk about literally anything else...how’s your dog?”

If that feels too confrontational, a simple “Hmm,” followed by a topic change works beautifully. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Handling Holiday Food Guilt

Here’s a radical idea: you don’t need to "earn" or “make up for” holiday eating. Food is not a moral issue, and your body knows what to do with extra cookies.

If guilt comes up, try this:

• Name it (internally): When internal thoughts of guilt or fear come up, call it out by reminding yourself “This is diet-culture guilt trying to get my attention.”

• Name it (externally): When others comment on your eating habits (or even their own!) in a way that feels activating to you, you can say something like "I'm eating because my body is telling me I'm hungry" or "I don't think about food that way."

• Notice it: Where does the guilt show up in your body? Where does it start and where does it end? Does it feel warm, cool, sharp, dull? Get curious about the experience, rather than being controlled by it.

• Ground yourself: When thoughts start to feel overwhelming and you find yourself in a full-on food spiral, put your feet on the floor, take a slow breath, unclench your jaw, and remind yourself about what the holidays are about for you.

You’re not regressing, you’re unlearning, and that takes time.

When Food Isn’t the Hard Part…Family Is

For many people, the holidays bring up more emotional distress than food-related distress.

If you’re juggling:

• toxic dynamics

• unresolved trauma

• emotionally immature parents

• being the emotional support person for everyone

• being the “strong one” who never needs help

…then food isn’t the problem. Emotional load is.

Consider making a “Holiday Survival Plan” that includes:

• A support person you can text (the support can go both ways!)

• A grounding strategy (drinking cold water or splashing it on your face, breathing exercises, going for a walk or even a trip to the bathroom for some alone time)

• A scripted exit line (my personal favorite is, "Welp, I'm turning into a pumpkin, gotta go!")

• A promise to yourself to recover gently afterward (what will you do when you get home?)

You don’t have to perform a version of yourself that no longer fits.

You Are Allowed to Make the Holidays Yours

Holidays don’t have to feel like a test you need to pass. You’re allowed to:

• Say no

• Do holidays differently

• Create new traditions

• Opt out of things that harm your relationship with food or yourself

Healing your relationship with food and family dynamics is difficult, ongoing work, and the holidays can be a particularly tricky time. While we associate the holiday season with joy, happiness, and togetherness, that doesn't mean it's 100% good vibes all the time, and boundaries may be even more important than usual.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve a Holiday That Feels Safe

If you’re navigating intuitive eating during the holiday season while unlearning years of diet culture, managing body comments, or trying to set boundaries with family, you’re doing incredibly meaningful work. It’s okay if it feels messy, emotional, or overwhelming. Healing often does.

If you're looking for extra support this holiday season—especially from a therapist who practices from a weight-neutral, anti-diet, trauma-informed lens—I’d love to help! Let's schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if we're a good fit for therapy!