Supporting LGBTQ+ Loved Ones: What Families Can Do During Pride and Beyond
- Lili Torre
- Jun 4
- 4 min read
Why Family Support Matters During Pride Month
Pride Month can be an empowering time for many queer people, but it can also bring up grief, complicated family dynamics, and/or memories of not being accepted. If you’re a parent, sibling, or other family member of someone who is LGBTQ+, you may find yourself wondering: What’s the best way to show up right now?
The good news? You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present and supportive. In fact, research shows that community support dramatically improves the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ+ people (The Trevor Project, 2024). Small actions can make a huge difference. In this blog post, we'll explore...
How Can I Support My LGBTQ+ Loved One During Pride?
Here are some ways to offer meaningful support this month and beyond.
1. Ask how they’d like to be supported
You don’t need all the answers. A simple question like, “Is there anything you need from me this month?” or “How can I support or celebrate you during Pride?” goes a long way. It shows care without assumption. And it opens the door to honest conversation.
2. Affirm their identity - loud and proud!
Say “I’m proud of you” or “I love you exactly as you are.” Visibility matters, especially from the people closest to us. If your loved one is out and open, consider publicly acknowledging them. If they’re closeted, more private, or public declarations just aren't their love language, behind-the-scenes affirmations still count. Note: While well intended, be cautious with phrases like "I love you no matter what." This implies that you love them in spite of their identity, rather than because of or including their identity.
3. Get curious and keep learning
Support isn’t a one-time act; it’s a lifelong practice. Take initiative to learn about LGBTQ+ history, terminology, and current issues. Read books. Follow queer creators like Alok Vaid-Menon and Dylan Mulvaney. Attend a local Pride event. The more you understand, the more grounded your support will feel.
4. Be mindful of body talk and diet culture
Pride events can bring up body image insecurities, especially in a culture that often idealizes a narrow standard of “queer beauty.” Avoid commenting on anyone’s weight, body, food choices, or appearance (including your own). Instead of “You look so skinny!” try “It’s great to see you” or “You seem so vibrant today.” You can also model body neutrality by celebrating bodies for what they do, not how they look: dancing, hugging, singing, showing up in the world authentically. These subtle changes send a clear message of inclusion and support.
5. Honor the complexity of Pride
For some LGBTQ+ folks, Pride is about celebration. For others, it’s about survival, especially in our current political landscape. Some may feel grief for the years they weren’t accepted or rage about harmful policies and legislation. Others may feel out of place during Pride due to race, disability, size, or gender identity. Let them feel what they feel, and validate that they can be proud of their identity and feel complex feelings about Pride Month.
What if I’ve made mistakes in the past?
Most of us have. Supporting your LGBTQ+ loved one isn’t about getting everything right...it’s about showing up with humility, taking accountability, being willing to grow, and staying curious.
You can say things like:
“I wish I had known then what I know now.”
“I’m sorry for how I handled things in the past. I care about you deeply.”
“I’m still learning, and I’m here for you.”
Pride is about authenticity, and it’s never too late to be someone your loved one feels safe with. However, be sure to honor their pace. If they're not ready to welcome you into their Pride celebrations, honor that. Show them that you hear them and that you will continue showing up for them within the boundaries they set.
Want to Be an Ally Year-Round?
Support doesn’t end when the rainbow flags come down. Here are some ways to keep showing up:
Use inclusive language. Practice using affirming pronouns and terms.
Challenge bias when you hear it. Speak up at the dinner table, in your workplace, or at church.
Vote for policies and candidates that actively support LGBTQ+ rights. Policy impacts safety, healthcare, and equality.
Diversify the stories and art you consume. Continue watching, listening to, and reading queer artists all year long (there's plenty to choose from!)
Need More Support?
If you're feeling unsure about how to support your LGBTQ+ loved one, I offer a warm, nonjudgmental space to explore questions, values, and relationships, all with the goal of deepening connection and self-compassion. Whether you're navigating your own emotions, unlearning what you were taught, or just wanting to be the best support system you can be, you're welcome here.
You can schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more and see if we’re a good fit.
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